Ruby, a lively, beautiful, sprouting girl of 9 years age, was living in a small town of District Sialkot. She was obedient, submissive, caring and helping hand to her mother. She used to look after her four younger siblings as well. One day, Ruby’s mother and father developed some tension and hot verbal encounter between them. Ruby’s father slapped in the face of Ruby’s mother. Ruby being their eldest daughter came in between them to rescue her mother. Her furious father hit her against the wall. Because of that hitting, Ruby developed cerebral haematoma (a swelling in the brain) which resulted into a little bit of headache for about 3 days. No medical consultation or treatment was provided to her. Then, after about 4 months, the headache reawakened which arose to severe agony and her sudden death. No legal case was registered against anyone, and that sweet baby was laid to rest forever in a nearby graveyard.

Adnan, an intelligent and active boy of 7 years was hardly slapped in his face by a school teacher because he reached school late by five minutes on that day. The teacher wanted to discipline the child. The slap was so hard on the innocent, meager face of Adnan that his left ear started bleeding because of rupture in the tympanic membrane which resulted into permanent loss of hearing by that ear.

Tahir, a 13 year old social and active boy of class 8 was whispering with his class friend. His class teacher took note of it and wanted to discipline the child. The teacher uttered a long list of abusive and taunting comments against Tahir and his parents. Finally, the teacher said, “if you ever whispered or talked to anybody in the class, I shall put off your trousers and give a 100 sticks at your buttocks.”

Saleem, a poor boy of 8 years commonly named ‘chooto’ was working 12 hours a day in a motorcycle workshop with no wages but two loaves of bread in the afternoon. He was almost punished daily by his cruel masters. He was suspected to be sexually abused by the workshop older boys. He had many wound scars on his face, arms and feet – the bare parts of his body.

These are just a few examples of innumerable stories scattered here and there in our homes, streets and schools. What atrocities are being done in the name of discipline? In our traditional society, children are supposed to be the property of parents and teachers, and they are treated according to the whims, wishes and temper tantrums of incompetent parents and teachers. Additionally, it is widely known phenomenon in our society that children are kidnapped, amputated, physically deformed and thrown on the roads for begging to fill the pockets of their cruel masters. Some kidnapped children are brainwashed, forced for bonded labor in Kharkar Camps, and their body organs are sold in the medical market. Some children are sold for prostitution. Many are treated cruelly in most of the religious institutions (Deeni Madrisas).

All religions including Islam extend the prerogatives of tenderness, innocence, affection, kindness, forgiveness and above all ‘love’ for the young ones, but these are being violated by the uncivilized, harsh and brutish adults of many societies. It may be argued that, if we are not kind, affectionate, forgiving and loving to our children, how Allah can be kind, affectionate, forgiving and loving to us.

Ladies and gentlemen! There are many of us who argue that children must be punished or beaten so they may be better disciplined. While on the other hand, there are many others who wish not to punish or beat their children but cannot remain without doing it. A recent study by the author on the subject revealed that a great majority of fathers (73%) and mothers (80%) admitted that they punish their children to discipline them. The most frequent forms of punishment were slapping and/or kicking (fathers: 67%, mothers: 72%). There were only 9% fathers and 9% mothers who verbally abused their children and refrained to apply physical punishment. In response to a question ‘do you think that it is necessary to punish children for their better training or socialization?’  92% of fathers and 95% mothers mentioned in the affirmative. It was interesting to know that 87% of fathers and 87% of mothers recalled and reported that they were sometimes punished by their parents or elders.

Results of the study have also indicated that about 87% of today’s fathers as well as mothers were physically punished during their childhood. Today’s 92% fathers and 95% mothers think that physical punishment for today’s children is necessary for their proper training and education. Further, a great majority of fathers (73%) and mothers (80%) practice corporal punishment on their children mostly in the form of slapping and kicking (fathers: 67%; mothers: 72%). This gives an indication that child abuse in the form of corporal punishment is going to be a cyclic process. And, if the cycle does not stand still, it may continue for generations to come, and the abused children of today will become abusers of tomorrow. This also gives a notion that the parents of today in spite of much education, awareness and advancements in almost all fields of life are hostile towards their children and quite ignorant of positive parenting techniques which may be without slapping and kicking. Parents’ and teachers’ behavior are role models for children and all hitting is a lesson in bad behavior.

Some researchers have shown that hitting against children is used more by parents who are young, and it is used more on boys and young children. It is used more by parents whose own parents had hit them and whose own parents were violent toward each other. In short, for many parents, corporal punishment is part of a violent way of life.

Violence against Children:  The Repercussions

Results of many researches in the world have indicated that the possible side effects of corporal punishment or violence against children are:

  1. Acute or chronic physical injury and or sensory impairment, or death.
  2. Increased chance of being depressed during adolescence or adulthood.
  3. Increased chance of having suicidal thoughts and attempts.
  4. It promotes violence against siblings and marriage partners.
  5. It injuries the children’s self-esteem.
  6. It produces aggression, hostility and disrespectful ideas against elders.
  7. It produces juvenile delinquency and criminal tendencies.
  8. It develops family violence.
  9. It produces unknown fears and anxiety spells.
  10. It produces inferiority feelings and inferiority complex.
  11. It suggests justification to be hostile and violent against superior persons in age, rank, power etc.
  12. It develops anti-social behavior.
  13. It promotes sadistic and masochistic behavior which means, to bear the violence of elders or superior officers in a submissive way, while to derive pleasure by abuse, insult, hitting and being violent to our young ones or junior officers.
  14. Lowers efficiency in work.
  15. Reduces creative potentials.
  16. Increases run-away from homes.
  17. Increases run-away from schools – which is almost 50% at primary school level so, the educational investments and goals are being frustrated.


In summary, the violence against children results into personal, familial, social, health, economic, national and worldwide material and human resource loss.


Violence against children: What can be done to prevent it?


In order to prevent such loss due to violence against children, it may be suggested that:


1) Violence against children its schools and homes be legally and socially banned. In this regard, immediate steps be taken for legislation at national level.

2) Public opinion be mobilized through mass media and seminars etc. to create awareness and educate about hazards of violence against children.

3) Children must be facilitated, respected and loved everywhere as they are human beings too.

4) Positive parenting techniques, healthy ways of imparting education be propagated effectively so as to be a civilized and developed nation of the world.




An Act to consolidate and clarify the provisions of Muslim law relating to suits for dissolution of marriage by women married under Muslim law and to remove doubts as to the effect of the renunciation of Islam by a married Muslim woman on her marriage tie.

Whereas it is expedient to consolidate and clarify the provisions of Muslim law relating to suit for dissolution of marriage by women married under Muslim law and to remove doubts as to the effect of the renunciation of Islam by a married Muslim woman on her marriage tie; It is hereby enacted as follows:

  1. Short title and extent. (1) This Act may be called the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939.

(2) It extends to the whole of India i [1] [except the State of Jammu and Kashmir].

  1. Grounds for decree for dissolution of marriage.

A woman married under Muslim law shall be entitled to obtain a decree for the dissolution of her marriage on any one or more of the following grounds, namely:

  • that the whereabouts of the husband have not been known for a period of four years;
  • that the husband has neglected or has failed to provide for her maintenance for a period of two years;
  • that the husband has been sentenced to imprisonment for a period of seven years or upwards;
  • that the husband has failed to perform, without reasonable cause, his marital obligations for a period of three years;
  • that the husband was impotent at the time of the marriage and continues to be so;
  • that the husband has been insane for a period of two years or is suffering from leprosy or a virulent venereal disease;
  • that she, having been given in marriage by her father or other guardian before she attained the age of fifteen years, repudiated the marriage before attaining the age of eighteen years: Provided that the marriage has not been consummated;
  • that the husband treats her with cruelty, that is to say,
  • habitually assaults her or makes her life miserable by cruelty of conduct even if such conduct does not amount to physical ill-treatment, or (b) associates with women of evil repute or leads an infamous life, or (c) attempts to force her to lead an immoral life, or (d) disposes of her property or prevents her exercising her legal rights over it, or (e) obstructs her in the observance of her religious profession or practice, or (f) if he has more wives than one, does not treat her equitably in accordance with the injunctions of the Quran;

(ix) on any other ground which is recognized as valid for the dissolution of marriages under Muslim   law: Provided that,

(a) no decree shall be passed on ground (iii) until the sentence has become final;

(b) a decree passed on ground (i) shall not take effect for a period of six months from the date of such decree, and if the husband appears either in person or through an authorized agent within that period and satisfied the Court that he is prepared to perform his conjugal duties, the Court shall set aside the said decree; and

(c) before passing a decree on ground (v) the Court shall, on application by the husband, made an order requiring the husband to satisfy the Court within a period of one year from the date of such order that he has ceased to be impotent, and if the husband so satisfies the Court within such period, no decree shall be passed on the said ground.

Comments Section 2 of the Act deals with the right of a woman married under Muslim Law to obtain a decree for dissolution that her husband assaults her or makes her life miserable by cruelty. If any incident perpetrated by the husband with cruelty had made her communal life miserable then that would amount to cruel treatment as envisaged in the clause. Held, it was a cruelty to force a young woman, who was desirous of becoming a mother, to abort her pregnancy and some drug was administered to her and miscarriage occurred consequently. (Siddique v. Amina, 1996(1) DMC 87)

  1. Notice to be served on heirs of the husband, when the husband’s whereabouts are not known. In a suit to which clause (i) of Section 2 applies (a) the names and addresses of the persons who would have been the heirs of the husband under Muslim law if he had died on the date of the filing of the plaint shall be stated in the plaint, (b)notice of the suit shall be served on such persons, and (c) such persons shall have the right to be heard in the suit: Provided that paternal uncle and brother of the husband, if any, shall be cited as party even if he or they are not heirs. 4. Effect of conversion to another faith. The renunciation of Islam by a married Muslim woman or her conversion to a faith other than Islam shall not be itself operate to dissolve her marriage: Provided that after such renunciation, or conversion, the woman shall be entitled to obtain a decree for the dissolution of her marriage on any of the grounds mentioned in Section 2: Provided further that the provisions of this section shall not apply to a woman converted to Islam from some other faith who re-embraces her former faith. 5. Rights to dower not to be affected. Nothing contained in this Act shall affect any right which a married woman may have under Muslim law to her dower or any part thereof on the dissolution of her marriage.
  2. [Repeal of Section 5 of Act 26 of 1937. Rep. by the Repealing and Amending Act, 1942 (25 of 1942)].


To lead a happy life is the aim of everyone since ages. In the present day turbulent environment, it is very important that you acquire some knowledge and learn some techniques to remain fit and fine to lead a happy life. For this, one of such techniques is to build up your self esteem. By definition, self esteem is considered an important component of emotional health that encompasses both self-confidence and self-acceptance. It is the emotional way the individuals perceive themselves or make evaluation of themselves, and how well they do things that are important to them. So, to work efficiently and effectively, you need to have your self esteem high.

These are some ways to build up your self esteem to lead a happy life:

  1. Health: Maintain and improve your health. Healthy people have a positive outlook of life. They feel better and important. So, remain neat and clean, try to be smart and attractive, be well dressed, eat less and balanced diet, have moderate sleep, brisk walk, jog or exercise for about thirty minutes a day regularly or during most days of the week to remain physically fit. Physically and mentally healthy people have positive outlook of the world and themselves.


  1. Finance: Take care of your financial health. If your job, business and assets are safe and improving, your self esteem is high. It is said that “do not keep all your eggs in one basket”. Investment in different sources of income may save you from odd days. But, if you have strong reasons that investment in one lot is okay, you may do it. Anyhow, try to manage your property, wealth, income and expenditures in a suitable way.


  1. Family: Healthy family relations are not only buffer zone during odd days rather, healthy family ties boost up your morale, and give you comfort and enjoyment in close relationships that keeps your self esteem high. Healthy family relations are source of pleasure, happiness and long life. Spend your time with family members in sharing, helping, warmth, acceptance, enjoyment and happiness.


  1. Goals: Plan years, months and days of your life with long and short term goals. Your goals should be: Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely, with Evaluation and Review (SMARTER). People who lead their life with suitable goals and struggle to achieve them, live a longer life as compared with those who do not make appropriate goals to achieve for. Goals also make your life purposeful with a sense of direction and achievement.


  1. Belief: Along with planning your goals, you should believe in that you are capable of doing it. Keep your ‘vision’ strong and clear in your mind. Suitable verbal and visual reminders of your goals with strong belief in your abilities may keep you on the right track.


  1. Motivation: Moderate to strong motivation to achieve your life goals is very important. Remain inspired, energized, and look at the bright side of the things and events. Develop positive thinking and remain focused on your short and long term goals. Temporary obstacles and setbacks should not make you off track. Boost up your morale with self confidence, and pump up yourself with your abilities, achievements and strong determination when need arises.


  1. Social Work: Try to help others. The poor, needy, sick, week and deprived people should be cared and helped as our moral obligations. Giving away any form of material, moral or psychological assistance to deserving people would give you a lot of satisfaction and pleasure. Be a part of community social work whatsoever small it may be. Helping others also gives you spiritual relief and elevation.


  1. Spiritual Peace: Everyone has a limited life span in this world. Imagine of the Supreme Being, the Creator and Sustainer of this universe. Do your good for its own sake. Remain connected with the Lord of the Universe during your good and bad days. Be thankful to Him for His innumerable blessings and have patience and peace in all situations of life.


The researches have indicated that the people who have good physical and mental health, financial stability, strong family ties, and well planned goals with high motivation, participation in social activities and trust in God for spiritual peace, have high self-esteem as compared to those who do not score well on these indicators. So, by adopting such techniques, you may boost your self esteem, lift up yourself and enjoy your life.


Article: 37 Promotion of social justice and eradication of social evils

37. Promotion of social justice and eradication of social evils.-The State shall-

(a) promote, with special care, the educational and economic interests of backward classes or areas;

(b) remove illiteracy and provide free and compulsory secondary education within minimum possible period;

(c) make technical and professional education generally available and higher education equally accessible toall on the basis of merit;

(d) ensure inexpensive and expeditious justice;

(e) make provision for securing just and humane conditions of work, ensuring that children and women are not employed in vocations unsuited to their age or sex, and for maternity benefits for women in


(f) enable the people of different areas, through education, training, agricultural and industrial development and other methods, to participate fully in all forms of national activities, including employment in the service of Pakistan;

(g) prevent prostitution, gambling and taking of injurious drugs, printing, publication, circulation and display of obscene literature and advertisements;

(h) prevent the consumption of alcoholic liquor otherwise than for medicinal and, in the case of non-Muslims, religious purposes; and

(i) decentralise the Government administration so as to facilitate expeditious disposal of its business to meet

the convenience and requirements of the public.

Importance of Family Counselling in Pakistan


We all go through tough times.

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11 Ways To Change Your Definition Of Life And Attract Positive Energy

Stress results from a wrong definition of life. For most people life stands for ‘Living in Fear Everyday’.

Insecurities and fears lead you to ignore the positives leading to a loss of self-belief. The way out of this negative spiral is to change the definition of life to ‘Living in Freedom Everyday’. By making the right choices, you attract positive people and opportunities. Given our busy schedules, it might not always be possible to pursue any single form of wellness. But you can make small changes from various forms. Motivational speaker and life coach Santosh Joshi gives some easily do-able tips.

1. Get In touch with your inner self

Master this simple meditation technique. You can do this while travelling in a bus, train or flight, or even at work. And you only need 15 minutes.

– Sit in a comfortable chair.
– Take a few deep breaths. Focus on the breath going in and out.
– Imagine that your whole body, every pore and cell is breathing. (This helps draw cosmic energy.)

2. Imbibe the power of music

Sound vibrations stir our inner being. Play spiritual music, hymns and chants as and when you can. Listen to such music while working out or jogging; your mind wouldn’t wander then.

3. Be around nature

Invest in making your living zone a green area by planting trees. Try and sign up for nature walks once in a while. Else, try and walk barefoot every day for 15 minutes at your nearest park. It’s a simple way to connect with nature. The earth element has the capacity to take away negativity.

4. Have Vibrant Colours around

Colour therapy is getting popular by the day. Colours emit vibrations that affect our psyche. Eg: Yellow gives confidence, Red signifies security, Orange signifies emotional balance and blue improves communication and intuition. Explore its benefits in daily life. Change your drapes, bed sheets, pillow covers etc with primary colours or any colour that makes you happy. Light coloured candles. Wear more vibrant hues. Choose outfits depending on the way you want to project yourself.

5. Embrace The Love of a Child

Children have a natural energy that is so vibrant that it is a blessing for most adults to experience it. Speak or share experiences daily with a child in your family and you will be well on your way to seeing life in a very different way.

6. Indulge in some laughter therapy

No need to join a laughter club, just try and have a good laugh at least 10 minutes a day. It opens up blocked energy patterns, releases feel-good hormones and is even good for certain aches and pains. So rent your favourite DVDs or comedy shows and laugh out loud.

7. Energize your house

Light a candle or diya every morning and evening. Fire has capacity to burn negative energies. Fill your house with fragrance and aromas that relax the mind. Try and have a water body. Also have open windows; the flow of air takes away negative energy.

8. Inner child therapy

Each person has an inner child within him/her. Do things you used to as a child — be it clay modelling, doodling, drawing with colour pencils/crayons or even jumping into a puddle. They help you get rid of inhibitions and help you explore new areas of life.

9. Press the right points

Based on acupressure, stimulating pressure points reduces stress. During stress, immediately press points around your eyes, your ear lobes and the point between your nose and lips. These points have a direct connection to nerve endings that control feelings of unease. Also keep pressing your palms to get immediate relief.

10. Healthy Lifestyle

The point about good sleep, healthy diet and exercise cannot be emphasised enough. If you can’t stick to a routine, at least adopt a few good practices. Like having a ‘fruit day’ occasionaly to cleanse the body. Or drinking enough water to flush out toxins. Another tip is to count your steps while walking, it improves concentration. Finally, have gratitude; Gratitude fills us with positive energy.


For the purpose of advocacy, awareness and mass literacy on various aspects of the child, marriage and the family at local, national and international socio-cultural perspectives, Pakistan Council on Family Relations works with electronic, social and print media for the identification, rectification and alleviation of human sufferings.

Additionally, through working with media and press, PCFR intends to disseminate knowledge, bring positive change, peace, happiness and healthy human development within and outside the families.